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67.Journey of Personal Growth:Insights on Coaching and Facing Inner Monsters with Alessandra Marini

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Podcast with Alessandra Marini Part 4



Join us in Part 4 of the Podcastas Alessandra Marini shares her unique perspective on coaching and personal growth. Discover the importance of setting clear starting and ending points in coaching, allowing clients to focus intensively on specific goals. Learn how to
embrace vulnerability, accept inner monsters, and seek truth to achieve
personal liberation. Alessandra also provides valuable advice for fresh
graduates and mid-career professionals navigating digital transformation.

In Part 4 of the Podcast withAlessandra Marini, delve into the world of coaching and personal growth. Alessandra emphasizes the significance of establishing clear starting and
ending points in coaching, enabling clients to concentrate on specific
objectives without falling into a perpetual loop. She highlights the power of
vulnerability and acceptance, urging individuals to embrace their inner
monsters and seek personal liberation. Alessandra also offers valuable insights
for fresh graduates and mid-career professionals embarking on digital
transformation journeys, emphasizing the importance of digital literacy and
openness to global opportunities.

[00:00:00] Andrew Liew: How do you see that differencefrom the starting point and ending point of coaching?

[00:00:03] Alessandra Marini: So your question is how do,what is the difference between my view of the starting ending point and what is
the other thing?

[00:00:10] Andrew Liew: the sports, or games where youpeople have like full time dedicated coach, like whether it's a psychological
coach or a striker for the soccer forward.

[00:00:21] Andrew Liew: Oh yes,

[00:00:21] Alessandra Marini: absolutely. Yeah, it reallydepends on also on the goals that you work on. But I, personally think that a
coach is there to help you. See within yourself. Okay. So it's something that
for a specific goal, it it needs to start and it needs to end. And then, of
course, I can have some repeat clients, but on something else on a different
level or on a different topic.

[00:00:46] Alessandra Marini: And I also totally understandthat, for example, for athletes or for other for other. I don't know
professionals, it can make sense to have someone like for a lifelong period of
time. Okay, because it [00:01:00] reallydepends also how many struggles they are facing or a new competition, a new
something, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:01:06] Alessandra Marini: But in my opinion, as longas you do not focus always on the same thing, but you reach or you want to
achieve something else, something new, something higher. That is beautiful. The
point is just to do not get in the loop of just sticking to one simple thing
and making it, making coaching last for too long.

[00:01:27] Alessandra Marini: Cause in my opinion, itdoesn't help the client.

[00:01:29] Andrew Liew: This is very unique view in thatlike having a starting and ending point allows like almost like an intense
coaching. way of getting the client or the respondent to actually focus on that
particular path to either create a positive reinforcement loop or to break away
a negative

[00:01:48] Alessandra Marini: if I can share somethingjust just to explain maybe a little bit more is that most of the time I am the
one suggesting that we end The coaching process within my clients, because [00:02:00] sometimes they just feel more comfortableand keeping having the, conversation, but I think it's very important as well
to say, okay, what else do you need from me as a coach?

[00:02:10] Alessandra Marini: You have already reachedthis, you have already and it can be something external I don't know, you have
a new job, you have this goal that we agreed on, or maybe also something more.
deeply and personal like an emotional wellbeing or the ability to express
yourself, et cetera.

[00:02:30] Alessandra Marini: So it's very important tolet the clients go because otherwise sometimes they, start to see the coaching
or the coach as Oh, I don't know the English expression by like old people,
they work with this Yes, exactly. And this is not the point. In my opinion,
it's much more powerful and empowering to help our clients remember that they
have the wisdom, they have the power and they don't need us.

[00:02:53] Alessandra Marini: We can be some option atsome point. Yeah, it's something nice to have, but it's not a must have.

[00:02:58] Andrew Liew: It's

[00:02:59] Andrew Liew: very interesting that [00:03:00] you say that it's almost like, your way,your view of coaching is, it's almost like guiding a kid to ride a bicycle. But
when the kid knows how to ride that small bicycle, he doesn't need the coach

[00:03:10] Andrew Liew: Maybe he wants to ride a biggerbicycle, then that's a different story, right?

[00:03:13] Alessandra Marini: Exactly. Perfect metaphor.

[00:03:15] Andrew Liew: The other interesting question Ialso want to ask is that a lot of times, a lot of us we before we even get a
coach, or even get a coach, the greatest... A tough thing that people often
feel is they have to fight their inner monster.

[00:03:29] Andrew Liew: They have to face their innermonster, their inner ugliness. How what is your advice to people crossing that
inertia? To either seek coaching or to really think, Oh, maybe I shouldn't get
myself ready for coaching. How, do they get ready to face their own monster? Oh

[00:03:46] Alessandra Marini: Yeah this is a, toughquestion, but it's such a true Beautiful question because yes, it's it's like a
little bit what we were saying earlier about being vulnerable.

[00:03:57] Alessandra Marini: And I think that sometimes[00:04:00] when we want to achieve something and wekeep start and then stop, start and then stop, or sometimes if we self sabotage
ourselves towards our goal or sometimes also if we put ourselves in a victim
mindset. These are good indicators that maybe we need to do some coaching work
because it helps realize that what is our scope of where we have dominion on.

[00:04:30] Alessandra Marini: And also coaching helps inacceptance because I hear a lot about self growth or personal growth, et
cetera. And it implies that we always could be better and it's a never ending
job and this is exhausting. So I would just would like to remind people that
even though of course there are.

[00:04:51] Alessandra Marini: still some stuff that wecould we could improve in ourselves. We are perfect as we are, and we are what
we are meant to be. So acceptance is [00:05:00]key. Okay. And not fight against monsters, our inner monsters, but to just
allow them to be there. What I noticed a lot is that we, when we resist these
monsters we, hide them.

[00:05:12] Alessandra Marini: We yes we, try to, yes to,avoid, to see what is happening within ourselves. The gl less it gets and it
keeps reproducing itself in the different patterns. I don't know. Some some,
clients that I see continue projecting the same issue on different on different
And I was talking yesterday with some expatriate people here in Singapore and
they told me that they were in their home country and they had a situation and
they were expecting this situation to go away or certain type of relationships
to go away because they moved to Singapore.

[00:05:49] Alessandra Marini: But the same exact thingwere happening here because we, when we do not find our inner monsters or our
inner triggers, I would say the same thing is [00:06:00]going to come up and I think it is also a beautiful opportunity to work on this
triggers because it set us free.

[00:06:06] Andrew Liew: Like it, it just reminds me ofall this like science fiction or this, those Kung Fu movie where the sensei

[00:06:14] Andrew Liew: The truth will set you free, seekthe truth. So yes, you're right. It, it takes a lot of self awareness to face
that and to be vulnerable and to seek help, so let me ask you like interesting
question for the fresh graduate of the mid career folks out there. What is
your, because you're so into coaching, what is your best book that I read about
digital transformation or even about coaching and why?

[00:06:38] Alessandra Marini: A quick part, a quickanswer about digital transformation and then I'll move to, coaching. I think
that it is nowadays, it's crucial, it's essential or vital to to be more
familiar with digital tools because Yes, our world is not just our city or our
country. Our home is the world. So we [00:07:00]really need to open up to different opportunities to work online from anywhere
in the world or to work with some other people across the globe.

[00:07:10] Alessandra Marini: So I really think that themore familiar you are with the digital tools, the more opportunities you will have.
So this is the first part. And then if new graduates want to start coaching, I
think this is beautiful. Very, I, in my opinion, coaching is the beautiful the
most beautiful job in the world, but of course it's my biased opinion.

[00:07:32] Alessandra Marini: And I see a lot of coaches.or people that get certification from coaching and then they don't want to
practice coaching. And that's okay because in my opinion, it's just a way to
get to know you. And it will help you to be a more aligned manager or employee,
entrepreneur or social worker, whatever.

[00:07:55] Alessandra Marini: But it's it's doing thework. Like coaching or even [00:08:00] anotherform of therapeutic work is, beautiful and it's going to be helpful. So the
regardless if you want to be a coach or not, doing the inner work is going to
help you in every area of your life. And then of course, if you want to do
coaching and then become a coach, I would say that it's a beautiful job because
it forced you and it invites you to stretch yourself because every client you
will have.

[00:08:25] Alessandra Marini: Thank you. Maybe sometimeswill trigger some things in you that maybe are still unhealed or that points
out some area of your life where you need to do the work once again. And
really, the more I do this job, the more I feel. challenged, of course, because
I face a bigger challenges, but also it's a very, rewarding because you see
also how it contributes to a bigger vision of of life and how we can contribute
to make the world better.

[00:08:54] Alessandra Marini: This is my, real vision ofof

[00:08:57] Andrew Liew: coaching. Wow. That's like a, sonovel. [00:09:00] It sounds like, this kind oflike pastoral job or religious job, right? Even Kung Fu master, guide and
disciple people to be a better way of life and in the meantime they receive all
these use cases, sorrow stories, and they need to help them and help
themselves, absolutely. What else we have almost come to the end of the
podcast. It has been really lovely. I would love to continue, but I think, let
me ask what is your request from those listening to this podcast? Yeah.

[00:09:28] Alessandra Marini: Thanks for, listeningbecause it's I think it's a very nice to talk about this topic.

[00:09:34] Alessandra Marini: And really if you thinkthat or if you would like to know how coaching. Can benefit you or your
company. I would love to connect and to talk about it because I can go on for
hours. So if you have any inquiries or you just just curiosity, just let me
know. I will be more than glad to answer to that.

[00:09:56] Andrew Liew: All right. Great. Alexandra, liketo the folks out there who's listening to this.[00:10:00]You can find her on the podcast page which I'll share the LinkedIn address, and
you can connect her and her LinkedIn website. It's Alexandra again. Thanks for
coming to the show. We have come to the end. So I just save

[00:10:14] Alessandra Marini: it.

[00:10:14] Alessandra Marini: Thank you. Thank you,Andrew, very much for having me.

[00:10:17] Andrew Liew: No worries. Let's see. Keep intouch and once I get it editorial done again, I'll let you know. And then maybe
we can even have another casual chat out of other than this. I

[00:10:26] Alessandra Marini: would love that. Thank youvery much. Bye bye.